How do I get rid of my ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality?
What we are basically asking is, “how do I live in the middle ground where I can take my circumstances as they come and adjust to what life throws at me?”
We could sit here all day and talk about the logic of why an “all-or-nothing” mindset is dangerous for health, body comp, and performance goals, but it may not do any good. Sometimes using logic in this situation doesn’t overcome the beliefs that we have about ourselves. Sometimes we need to do some extra work on the back end of our habits, thoughts, and actions.
But to start, why don’t we try using logic: begin to think of every mistake, schedule disruption, or anything that hasn’t gone as planned when trying to pursue your goal. And think of each of those ‘slip-ups’ like tripping on a step.
One step you tripped, big deal.
Now, an ‘all-or-nothing’ way of thinking would be, “well I tripped down one step, so might as well throw my body down the rest of the flight of stairs”
Its hilarious when we think about it in this sense, but thats EXACTLY what we do when we find that one thing hasn’t gone as planned, or we eat one thing not on our plan, so we say eff it and throw the rest of the day away.
I believe this comes from how we were raised. If our parents expected a lot out of us and only showed love or recognition when we did something successful, then we’re going to be really afraid of trying new things and ‘failing’ at them. Instead, we’re going to wait until the perfect conditions before we start to ensure that we’re able to succeed and get the praise and recognition and love we yearn for.
But what ends up happening is that there is NEVER a perfect moment, so we end up self sabotaging our success by never starting int he first place. Because you can’t fail if you never start, right?
So instead of throwing ourself down the flight of stairs after one little stumble, how about we think “whoa that was close,” and continue walking down the rest of the stairs with a little more care in our step.
And THAT is how we find the middle ground.
Did that resonate? Do you think you can start thinking of your nutrition and training like that?
Where, ‘oh shoot I didn’t pack a breakfast” so you run to the nearest convenient store and get some Greek yogurt, a banana, some almonds and make it work. Rather than, well I blew it for the day and it’s only breakfast so I might as well just get croissant and chai tea latte at Starbucks…
Do you struggle with an all-or-nothing mentality? What are some of the tricks you use to break free from this mindset?