The greatest need of human existence is to be loved and accepted…I think we can all relate to that…the desire to fit in.
It’s no wonder, then, that our greatest fear is the fear of rejection. To be rejected is to be thrown out of the tribe – all alone – a sure death.
In today’s world, our actions are statements of who we are. Our self-worth and significance is wrapped up in what we do and how we perform.
You may remember from when I wrote about this topic before, I made the relationship:
Performance = Ability = Self worth
It’s a dangerous equation – it means we see failure as a personal rejection instead of an opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow. Equating failure with personal rejection sets you up for a lifetime of fear and unhappiness.
We’ve all experienced this during our childhood: the more things you try, the more you fail, the more you hurt, thus you learn to never try anything and quit taking risks.
Quitting is one solution – one that I see many people take with fitness and nutrition, actually.
You try all the diets, fail at all the diets. Hire an expensive personal trainer, fail at achieving any results. Buy fresh produce, fail to cook them before they rot and throw them away. Try and fail, over and over.
But what you don’t realize is that these mistakes are nothing more than learning experiences.
Instead of completely writing off dieting, personal trainers, and buying fresh fruits and vegetables, understand that your experiences were simply for learning…nothing more. They don’t define you!
Think about it, when you first attempted to change your life you were unprepared, unknowing, and inexperienced. Of course you are going to fail!
You can either stop here and quit, OR redefine what it means to fail.
Let’s be realistic, if you take on challenges (facing your bad habits and learning new ones), if you step into the adventure (signing up for a CrossFit membership), and if you step through fear (continuing forward despite what others will say), you WILL periodically find failure on the other side!
I’m not going to sugar coat it for you…
But is that such a bad thing?
We’ve been taught to fear failure (how convenient!)
But from what I’ve learned, the critical first step to success is failure.
Think about that. How many of you would gladly say “yes, I want to try that and fail so I can get on with eating right and losing 20lbs!”
And that’s the exact attitude we need to have! Not the attitude and actions of a recluse spider.