1. HONOR HOW YOU FEEL
Get out a journal, sista & sit with yourself
Note exactly how you feel: shame, loneliness, isolation, disappointment, exhausted, hopelessness, misunderstood…
When we honor it, we then give it space to transform & flow through us
If we don’t take time to do this, we stuff down our feelings, pretend to be fine, pretend to look perfect on the outside…then we put too much pressure on ourselves!
Now, I’m not saying we need to take a 2 week pity party – that’s not serving anyone!
But look at yourself with compassion & kindness. Give yourself some grace & comfort yourself.
How do we do this?
Notice your negative self talk & rewrite it toward loving words like:
“hey mamma, you’ve been through a lot, you’ve been trying really hard, I’m sorry this hasn’t worked out, but I do believe that it will. It’s been a long journey, it’s ok to feel tired.”
When you begin to witness the emotions you’re suppressing, that’s when your energy/perception/reality begins to shift.
To begin to get out of your own way and release some of your pain I want you to witness & honor how you feel.
2. REFRAME IT
Then I want you to ask yourself, ‘how can I reframe this situation? What’s a more empowering story I can tell myself?”
My coach does this for me ALL the time…when I’m deep into feeling like a victim, that “all I do is screw it up, that I won’t ever be good enough, that everybody else is getting it right but me…”
She asks me, how could you say that better?
“I’ve been trying really hard & learning new things…about myself, my body, my husband; I’m becoming more open to nutrition, supplements, alternative medicine…& although I’m not where I want to be, I do see changes, I do see progress, I do have hope & I want to honor that”
Do you see the difference?
Taking it a step further….TRUST
Do you trust that you are being guided by the Universe / God / etc? Do you believe that you are on your own unique path? Do you believe that whatever happens is
Not a single woman wants to be on this path…not a single woman wants to have fertility challenges…yet, many women do.
I do think that the modern environment (toxins in food, air, water we consume, the toxins in our personal care products, and the toxins created from the thoughts we think)
When you start to LISTEN to your thoughts, converse with yourself, you open yourself up to understanding & love.
I know you didn’t choose to be here mamma, but you ARE here, so how can we say this better?
3. HOW DOES THIS SERVE ME
How does feeling what I feel (angry, sad, isolated, disappointed, unworthy, that it’s so much easier for everyone else) serve me? How does that help me get to where I want?
On the positive side, it’s led you HERE to a holistic way of pursuing your health & fertility
On the negative side, it keeps you in this pattern of feeling like a victim & seeing the world through the lens of a victim.
The cycle repeats and snowballs until all you see is how EASY it is for everyone else and how HARD it is for you. All you see is your failures, your screw ups…
So in order to shift your perception, become more compassionate & loving to yourself, we have to change the story.
Because walking around, looking at every pregnant woman and hating her is not serving you…you don’t know her story, you don’t know what she’s gone through, & chances are YOU are going to be that pregnant woman one day & someone who is struggling is going to be in YOUR shoes & wouldn’t YOU love the opportunity to tell her how far you’ve come, what you’ve overcome, to help her change her perspective, to give her hope?
To take it one step further, list the things that DO come easy to you. What were the things that used to be really hard, but are now easy…start to build momentum with THIS story…it was hard at first, it was a challenge, but I didn’t give up, I kept a positive attitude, I trusted in the Universe, I believed in myself, and I overcame adversity and now it’s easy!
YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE